Hello beautiful people,
I have so much joy for the world we live in but lately, I have felt lost in it. After expressing this to someone close to me, it was met with “Emily, you have to start loving yourself to find yourself!” What the heck does loving myself mean? Is it aromatherapy bubble baths, pedicures, and mud masks? As much as I wish that was the case, loving yourself requires much more than that. I am still finding this out the hard way.
For so much of my life, I have devoted my energy to others, neglecting my own needs and giving up my control in my own life. I have felt absent from the story I’m writing. I have just kind of showed up. I was just there. The truth is, I abandoned myself! It finally hit me that not only was I lacking self-love but I didn’t know anything about it.
Here is what I have learned so far on my own and from the people in my life:
1. Self-love is a daily practice. It is like putting on deodorant in the morning. It is a foundation that needs to be established first. We need to constantly be thinking about it and pushing ourselves to do it in order to accomplish happiness and love in ourselves.
2. Choosing yourself, even if this means upsetting others. If you don’t feel like going out, don’t go out. Don’t feel like being exhausted, or overwhelmed isn’t a good enough excuse to have a night in. You need to put yourself first
3. Being honest. Expressing how we truly feel and think, or even expressing what we really want to do is important. I have a tendency to swallow my own words and just go with the crowd. Who knows, maybe they would enjoy doing what I want to do too? You’ll never know if you don’t say it.
4. Don’t seek permission to be you. This is where control of your own life comes in. Don’t let others label you. Instead, take other’s opinions of you and have the courage to look at yourself and see if there is some truth to them.
5. Allowing yourself to make mistakes, and forgiving yourself for them. I am very hard on myself, some wuld say too hard on myself. I have been working on not being too critical of my mistakes but instead viewing it as my desire to learn and grow.
6. Allowing ourselves to do what we love, without feeling like we’re wasting time. We are all kids at heart, so don’t be afraid to go out and play!
7. Look good, feel good. Don’t be afraid to express your personality. Dress up, put makeup on, and spend some extra time doing your hair. Compliment yourself daily without feeling pretentious or vain. If you feel confident throughout your day and feel like yourself, practicing self-love will become much easier.
8. Knowing that self-love is different from being selfish. Self-love does not mean we get to live selfishly. We can’t do whatever we want, whenever we want. Instead, it means finding ourselves in the things we do without neglecting our responsibilities.
9. Allow yourself time. Remember, this is a practice, it is something that needs to be repeated over and over. Change does not happen overnight.
10. Lastly, accepting ourselves with the good, the bad, the ugly, and the smelly- all of it- and appreciating ourselves as the people we are, even if we fail miserably.
I have just started my journey to self-love and I’d be lying if I said it’s been painless. Putting aside your insecurities and accepting the person you have come to be and being open to discovering who you can become is no easy task. It is very complicated and takes courage. We are all at this place at least once in our lives. No one is alone in the journey to self-love, but no one else can offer these things to us but ourselves.
Love you! ❤️❤️❤️